


Shiragiku

by HyperHazerdious



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Death, Female Uchiha Sasuke, Gen, Genderswap, I'm Sorry Itachi, Not itachi, Pacifist!Sasuke, Sasuke is the one who is sick, Shiori is Sasuke, Sick!Sasuke, Suicidal Thoughts, Terminal Illnesses, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is really sad, be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperHazerdious/pseuds/HyperHazerdious
Summary: Shiori had always been intelligent, but she saw what being smart forced upon her brother and so hid it.when she finds him above their dead parents she only truly blames herself, the illness that slowly kills her is therefore only what she deserves for failing him._in which Sasuke is born Shiori, and is more like her brother than anyone else thought.





	Shiragiku

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted anything for so long, I've been terribly busy lately, but I Have been writing!.  
> this has been sitting almost finished in my story folder for about three-four months, I figured I'd polish it up and then post it.  
> I'm sorry in advance.
> 
> on another note! if you'd be so kind, please share this link and donate if you can ~.^  
> https://www.gofundme.com/xb2fgv-foreclosure-help

Shiori had always been intelligent, she might have been the second child, the girl and therefore Expendable.

But she was smart, and figured out that Being smart would not earn her anything, it certainly hadn't earned her older brother anything good in his life.

Constant pressure, the weight of the entire clan on his shoulders, she tried at least to make it bearable.

But in the end, it didn't work, the dread she had always harbored in her heart proved true and she was treated to her clan killed, and her brother standing over the bodies of their parents.

Looking at them in shock it Hurt, and turning her eyes to her brothers that swirled red she would always remember the look on his face when she lowered her arms to her sides.

If it would make him stop hurting so much, if it would make him Free then.....

then it was okay, dying couldn't hurt to badly, right?.

She didn't speak, didn't say anything and instead kept her eyes on his as she lowered her shaking form to sit on her knee's and something flashed in his eyes, like she had wounded him by accepting this so easily.

And then his eyes were red and she was in a different place, black and red filling her vision before she see's their family being cut down again, and again.

And Again.

Through it all he tells her to hate him.

She reckons it sounds like he's begging her to, before she retreats as far away emotionally as she could, and after that everything goes black.

 

Shiori has always been intelligent, a gift of the Uchiha's they say.

Shiori thinks its as much a curse as they say their eyes are, sometimes.

When she goes through the world alone she wonders why no one thinks to ask her if she's alright with everything as it is, if she was alright going back home to a place that still smelt like blood, because no matter how much they scrubbed the blood had soaked in too much and it lingered.

She wondered if they thought she would be able to recover from it so easily, but she was Seven and the kunai in her hands is sharp and its so.. So tempting that the edge of the blade is there, pressed against her wrist and even drawing a small bead of blood before she can stop herself.

But then she remembers the tears in her brothers eyes and throws the kunai away, because there must be a reason.

She would figure it out, or she would die trying.

 

Shiori has always been intelligent, the only other girl in class to rival her was Sakura, and Shiori wondered if the Nara boy could beat her if he ever got motivated enough to do so.

Some day's, she wished he would, if only to draw the eyes away from her if only for a few seconds, she figures that's why she likes Naruto.

Every time he does something, he drags those eyes away from her, makes them forget about her for just a Moment.

It lets her breath at least, and she can never be more thankful to the blond.

 

They've passed, team seven is the odd one out with two girls and a boy instead of the other way around, but they get along well enough, though Shiori finds it hard to really speak around them.

All to often she thinks of just how sharp Kunai's are, and how easy it would be to just go home and fall asleep, never to wake up again and face the emptiness in a house that even to this day, reeks of blood.

Everyday she tells herself 'Not Today' because she wants answers.

Afterwards... afterwards she'll see.

 

Team seven is both more and less then she thought it would be, Sakura and Naruto push their way into her heart and dig out a home for themselves and she can't bring herself to push them away, their sensei is lazy and perverted, but his gray eye is sharp and watches her closely.

She wonders if he knows what she thinks about, just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

She wonders if he'd be horrified to know it spans to the gates of hell itself.

 

Really, with the luck of her life, its no surprise when she begins to cough softly, and eventually in the comfort of a home that reeks of blood, she begins to cough it up.

Its stark against her pale skin and she Laughs, the sound eerie in this graveyard that tried to pass for a clan compound.

Maybe she won't have to drag a blade through her own arm, it seems her very body is starting to give up.

 

It's easy enough to keep it from them, even her Sensei doesn't do anything but question the scent of blood on her, when she hints about a woman's monthly cycle he vanishes from the area like he had been burned, or perhaps faced with responsibility.

Possibly both.

The mission with the bridge builder leaves her both terrified and disappointed.

One, because while she didn't care if she died, she didn't want her teammates to.

And Two, because she had kind of, maybe sort of Wanted it to all be over.

But no, the senbon aren't fatal, and all she receives from the ordeal is a few marks that itch like bug bites.

 

 

The attacks grow worse but she's able to keep them from her team, in retrospect its easy enough to steal medications from the hospital, no one suspects their wonderful upstanding Uchiha to do something like pilfer Drugs.

Idiots, this was a Ninja Village, they honestly thought the facade she put forth was real?.

With the coughing had come a constant ache in her lungs and head, she was usually able to push it away but it had its ups and downs.

She had seen the hospital staff do it enough, so injecting herself with some painkillers isn't as hard as other people would think, the fact the pain only recedes a little bit tells her she didn't get the dose right, but she'd rather under medicate than over, no matter how tempting the thought was.

Besides, the pain would keep her alert.

 

Things happen, and she actually finds herself afraid as they face off against someone who is to strong to be in the chunin exams.

But its almost funny, how the killing intent just... washes right over her.

Do people who are suicidal even get effected by it? Something to think of later.

All she can really do is stall and try and get her teammates Away, her mind is disjointed because she had injected a larger does of pain meds and antibiotics to last her the five days of the first test, but she never thought she would have to deal with this.

Sakura is knocked unconscious, Naruto is out, its only her and she finds herself oddly numb as she stared down what can only be a Sannin and she (he? It?) comments that her older brother was so much stronger than she is currently when he was her age.

Well.. no Shit.

Did it think that would anger her? Make her react? She knew her brother was better than her.

He had always been.

The rest is a blur, she's trying to lead him away from her two unconscious teammates and succeeds, somewhat.

When he bites into her neck and croons how she'll come to him for power she wonders why everyone assumes she wants something like that.

And then the pain takes her, and all she can do is Scream.

 

When she comes to, Naruto and Sakura are fighting people off, and Sakura was in trouble.

Its almost painfully easy for her to slam a Kunai into the other persons stomach when his own weapon was seconds away from slitting her pink haired teammates throat, it still doesn't mean she likes the slick feeling of blood on her fingers.

They get a scroll, but what does it matter, when she had more than likely just killed someone?.

They tell her it doesn't matter, that she was only trying to help and protect them, that she was still out of it.

But Shiori can only think something is wrong with her, and the burning from her neck only causes a familiar dread to pool in her stomach.

 

At the tower they have to fight in preliminaries, Shiori is really to out of it from pain and her self administered medications to think to well, but she's paired against Ino.

The girl can transfer her mind by use of a clan technique, Shiori only realizes this a second to late before it happens.

The world around them is black, white and red, and at their feet blood pools, the scent of it is acrid and cloying and Ino's horrified scream is all she can hear before they are in the real world again, all she does is stumble slightly, but Ino faints completely.

She wins, but it feels like a very cheap victory.

The other fights go on, but she is pulled aside by Sensei, they know about the thing on her neck and he intends to seal it and she doesn't mind that at all.

When its over her very bones ache and she's missed a fair bit of what had happened, but both Sakura and Naruto have passed, and that's all that matters to her.

The next matches will happen in a month, giving them time to train up for it.

Unexpectedly, Kakashi wants to train her, because she's to face Gaara.

“though you lack motivation, you're fast, I plan to make you faster”

lack motivation, is that what they all thought, that she was just lazy?.

But perhaps they just didn't want to see what was right in front of them. They were naive fools, for Ninja.

 

In retrospect, it was perhaps arrogant of her to think she could last a month around Kakashi-sensei and not have him find out.

She just wished he hadn't come a crossed her while she was spitting up practically a lungful of blood onto the ground.

He wanted to call everything off, but she managed to somehow convince him it was the seal causing her problems and not anything else, how she managed it she hadn't the foggiest, but though he hovered a tad more they continued.

It was grueling and painful, because she hadn't brought her medications as it was to risky, she only then realized how bad it had gotten without morphine to take the edge off.

Every bone ached, breathing was a chore and even eating was something she detested, but if she didn't eat she would drop weight so she forced it down under the watchful eyes of her teacher.

 

When they showed up (late) for her match she met cold sea foam eyes and wondered if this would be her end.

The fight was almost her just on autopilot, flash here, Shunshin there, don't get caught by the grabby sand.

The loud chirping of birds filled the stadium before his yell of pain blanketed everything, chakra flooding from him and feathers falling.

And then the invasion.

And then the hokage dies.

The funeral is one she doesn't go to, she has gone to too many in her life and instead stays in the tomb that used to be her home, fingers curled around a photograph and black eyes contemplating the kunai in the other.

One movement, that's all it would take.

But she places the weapon away in her pouch, and instead folds the picture of happier times up, slipping It back into her wallet and into her pocket.

Leaving the graveyard (it's not a clan compound or a place of splendor, only ghosts and herself live there now) and as she wonders Konoha she's noticed by her Sensei in a tea shop.

“Shiori” his voice draws her closer and she notices the other sensei there, her tired coal eyes take them in before they turn towards her teacher.

“have you gone to the hospital like I asked?” his voice is stern and black eyes trail away.

“yes.” even her voice is dull, monotone and dry.

They both know she's just lied, but she hasn't the energy to falsify anything real.

A gray eye narrows dangerously, warningly on her and she looks at him with an expression that speaks words she wasn't.

Her gaze accuses him of being a hypocrite, but he's firm in wanting her to go to the hospital.

But she can't because she knows if she goes, they will discover she is dying and she won't be able to help her teammates any longer, and will loose what little family she has cobbled together.

“I'll take you there, then.” he says but Shiori steps back, black eyes boring into his before she turns and leaves the tea shop without a word.

The look had been a warning, and for once Kakashi takes it because he doesn't follow her, at least he doesn't to her knowledge.

It doesn't matter anyway, not to her at least.

Many times she had contemplated pulling away, stopping Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi from forming any bonds with her, not because she thought it was a weakness, but because she knew her time was short, and from how tired she was and her increasing exhaustion and struggle to get out of bed every morning, she more then likely had only a handful of days left to her name.

But she was selfish, no matter how she tried to deny it.

Getting back to the graveyard she again contemplated the kunai in her thigh bag before reaching down and taking the temptation away by throwing it to the porch as she passed by, reaching out to hold onto the side of the building as her head grew fuzzy for a second and she blinked white dots from her vision.

Her body gave a weak shudder and she pushed away from the house to make her way further into the compound.

She felt like a cat, going to find a place to curl up and die.

Looking around she gave a melancholy smile when she realized her unsteady feet had taken her to the very clearing her elder brother would take her to train, the memories came so sharp it felt painful and her breathing hitched before she dissolved into a coughing fit, hand coming to her mouth to try and muffle it and her head spun, knee's giving out until she collapsed and blood splattered the ground as she fought for air, her head ached and she retched, tears mixing with bile and crimson fluid and she wondered at this point if taking her own life would be preferable to a slow death.

The arm that was over her shoulders and clutching her tightly brought her back to the real world and she gasped and shuddered, head hanging limp and hair only being saved from touching the mess beneath her by a hand holding it back and up.

Her breathes wheezed out of rattling lungs and she felt tired to the point of collapse, the only thing holding her up at this time was the body that was painfully rigid beside her, when her dull black eyes met softly swirling red she knew why he was so still.

She hadn't expected to see him again, honestly.

Not in this lifetime.

“brother.” her voice sounded horrible, pitifully weak and barely there at all and she was docile and practically limp as he pulled her away from the vile puddle beside them.

“you're sick” he finally said and she felt a weak puff of laughter burst from her lips.

“I'm dying, brother.” its the first time she had actually admitted it out loud.

She wondered why she was frightened of it now, of all times.

The man holding her was silent but held as she was, she felt the slight tremor that wracked his frame and shut her eyes, leaning her forehead against him and just enjoying this small moment, sinking into a time where everything had been the way it should be.

He didn't argue her statement, he had perfectly good eyes in his head to see that she more then likely would not last the week, she would be surprised if she lasted the day.

“will you take me with you, this time?.” it was childish but she held onto his black cloak anyway, when she was younger she had always asked him to take her on his missions. and even if he could easily break her trembling grasp he didn't and held her tighter, an arm opening his coat so he could draw her closer into its warmth before he looped an arm beneath her legs and lifted her.

“just this once.” he managed and she tilted her head and shut her eyes.

 

_

 

it was like flying, her brother had easily slipped from the village with skill only someone of his level could pull off, spiriting her from the place in the waning shadows of evening, before long they were joined by another person but her blurry gaze couldn't really make them out to well and so she sunk back into slumber.

 

When she woke she was shivering and a roaring fire blazed not to far away from her, a cloak with red clouds stitched into it was wrapped around her and her brother held her close, when he noticed she was awake he reached out and took a cup a large blue man handed to him, it smelt like medicine but she didn't complain and sipped at it.

It was bitter and burned going down, but she had had worse and compliantly downed it all.

“it'll help with the pain.” her brother's voice was tightly controlled and she let out a soft hum, black eyes closing in exhaustion as shivers wracked her frame, and though the pain was dulling it never really went away, a constant soreness that flared into sharp aches every time she moved even faintly.

Constantly her head pounded, and consciousness was fleeting.

Her brother and his companion traveled, mostly she was held by her brother but occasionally she found the blue man holding her, she heard him called Kisame by her brother when they were making camp again, once.

But mostly she slept, when she was awake the pain only ever increased and she found herself coughing up more and more blood, until she was pale and so weak she could barely even take care of herself, the first time she wet herself tears of shame couldn't be held back but her brother merely shushed her, cleaned her up and stroked her hair until she fell asleep again.

Sometimes she found her mind not always... There, or it was but she was in the past again, before the massacre had happened.

It was during one of those confusing episodes that she found herself unable to recognize the man holding her and asked for her brother, only to blink back into the here and now when he told her that it was Him, it was Itachi.

She felt guilty for forgetting him, and for bringing that pain to his face as they both realized she was spiraling fast and there was nothing that could be done about it.

 

The sharp snap of a twig breaking in the fire caused heavy lids to open and she stared up at the stars, the deep breaths of Kisame telling her he was resting not to far from them and she heard the now familiar thump of her brothers heart beneath her ear.

She was still so tired but she didn't want to fall asleep, not right now.

“you're awake” his voice was soothing and didn't help her resolve to remain conscious but she managed a soft hum, it had grown difficult to speak without coughing but luckily the itch in her throat was dull and the pain in her body had died down, not to long ago she had been left in the care of Kisame and her brother had left only to return a little while later with some heavier medications, the stronger painkillers helped but made her more tired than she usually was.

“hows the pain?” he asked,

how was it, because they had both come to accept that no amount of medicine would ever take it away.

“it's okay” she managed and he pushed the hair from her slightly clammy forehead to feel it.

“you have another fever.” he said and just from his tone alone she could tell how upset he was about it, they had only just barely managed to pull her through the last one.

She had managed to last almost two weeks surprisingly, but she found herself wondering if she would last any longer.

“brother? Can we move away form the fire? I want to see the stars better.” after a moment her brother nodded and gathered her up, moving them away from the glow of the flames and setting them down in a clearing not to far away, a quick hand sign and a shadow clone bloomed into being to keep watch over their camp.

“Better?” he asked and she nodded softly, black eyes taking in the expanse above them.

They were really beautiful tonight, with not a cloud in sight.

Before long though her eyes turned to her brother and found him looking up as well.

Reaching for him he looked down at her as she traced the lines stress had etched onto his face.

“brother, when I'm gone, I want you to take my eyes.” his entire body froze, breath shuddering from him in a ragged exhale.

“Shiori... I-” she stopped him from speaking with just a soft shake of her head.

“I can use the Sharingan, but it causes a lot of stress on my body so I didn't do it often. I want you to have them brother.” and if what she had read on that tablet beneath that graveyard was true, then if he didn't he would go blind.

“promise me? Please?” he opens and shuts his mouth a few times before giving a sharp nod and he was shaking as he held her.

She hurts knowing she's causing him pain, and if she could help it she would but she can't.

She really is such a useless little sister, isn't she?.

Leaning into her brother her bones ache when his arms tighten around her desperately, his heart is beating strong in his chest if a little quickly.

“I love you, big brother.” the words were whispered and there was a choked noise that was swiftly cut off.

“I love you too, little sister.” her eyes closed, thin arms wrapped around him clinch tighter before loosening slowly, finally releasing their hold entirely and Itachi releases a noise that would be more suited to an injured animal than a human being as the small chest goes still.

At the fire, solemn black eyes turn away to give him what privacy they can.

 

_

 

the grave is simple, beneath a large tree just inside the borders of the land of fire.

Itachi refused to bury her anywhere else but 'Home'.

Finding a medic that is skilled enough is hard but not impossible, Kisame is there to make sure nothing happens afterwards.

It was her last wish, and even though its sheer agony to do such a thing he does it anyway, so at least she can continue to experience the world if only from the eyes she had given him.

 

_

 

he leaves the Akatsuki, black cloak torn from his shoulders and left behind him, what use to stay there, when the main reason had been taken away?.

He would still protect his village, but he could no longer take such a laid back roll in doing so.

The last time he had done it, his little sister wasted away only to finally die in his arms.

He would not allow his village to suffer the same fate.

Beside him, Kisame sighs and clips on a plain tan cloak to replace the other he had shed but doesn't say a thing.

The black haired man is thankful for the silence.

 

_

 

its as he's alone that he comes a crossed one of her teammates as Deidara tries to capture him, the blond who is the Kyuubi container is only just thirteen and no match for the explosives expert.

But the missing nin had never been a match for Itachi, and he wraps the blond man in a genjutsu faster then those blue eyes of his can even fully focus on him.

“it's best to go back to your teammates, Uzumaki.” tired black eyes take in the shocked boy and something in his chest twists as his eyes flick to the slashed headband a crossed his forehead.

“y-... you're... a missing nin... why did you help me?.” black eyes turned to the dazed and slightly twitching Akatsuki member before glancing back over.

“it's not-” he cut himself off, because it Was important, anything about Her was.

“don't worry about my reasons, but take this warning, the Akatsuki are after anyone who holds a tailed beast, they wish to extract them and use them for their own.” he pins the boy with a look before tilting his head in the direction of home.

“I would go, before someone gets worried about you.” he doesn't give him time to react, instead using a quick Shunshin to bring himself alongside Deidara and another one to get them far away from the boy.

 

_

 

Honestly, he hadn't a clue of what he could truly do besides protect his last place that held the memories of home, the bone deep ache was more mental then physical and a few times he had contemplated just Ending everything.

But then he thought of his precious baby sister, and the eyes she had gifted him and knew, Knew he couldn't, would not be able to face her if he were to do that.

So he lived, he lived and he fought to protect their home and village if only for her and her memory.

He only hoped that when everything was said and done and he joined her, that maybe fate would be kind enough to let them occupy the same place in the afterlife.

_

 

 

 

~End~

 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah, that was depressing, eh? sorry about that, I just tend to write really depressing stuff when I'm tired, and all my usual stories I post here don't really have a whole heck of a lot of angst in them. *shrugs*  
> I might do more for the naruto fandom, but for now hope you liked it!
> 
> for those who skipped the note at the beginning.  
> please share on your social media if you can, and maybe donate if you have a dollar or two to spare.  
> https://www.gofundme.com/xb2fgv-foreclosure-help


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